merge-recursive: add sanity checks for relevant merge_options

merge-recursive: add sanity checks for relevant merge_options

There are lots of options that callers can set, yet most have a limited
range of valid values, some options are meant for output (e.g.
opt->obuf, which is expected to start empty), and callers are expected
to not set opt->priv.  Add several sanity checks to ensure callers
provide sane values.

Signed-off-by: Elijah Newren <newren@gmail.com>
Signed-off-by: Junio C Hamano <gitster@pobox.com>