MEDIUM: server: implement TCP_USER_TIMEOUT on the server

MEDIUM: server: implement TCP_USER_TIMEOUT on the server

This is equivalent to commit 2af207a ("MEDIUM: tcp: implement tcp-ut
bind option to set TCP_USER_TIMEOUT") except that this time it works
on the server side. The purpose is to detect dead server connections
even when checks are rare, disabled, or after a soft reload (since
checks are disabled there as well), and to ensure client connections
will get killed faster.