searchidx: switch to accounting by message bytes

searchidx: switch to accounting by message bytes

Xapian memory usage is tied to the size of the indexed
text, so take the raw message size into account when
deciding when to flush Xapian data.

More importantly, we now flush Xapian before we have it
buffer beyond our maximum; and we do it unconditionally
to prevent even high priority processes from OOM-ing.