core: rework StopWhenUnneeded= logic

core: rework StopWhenUnneeded= logic

Previously, we'd act immediately on StopWhenUnneeded= when a unit state
changes. With this rework we'll maintain a queue instead: whenever
there's the chance that StopWhenUneeded= might have an effect we enqueue
the unit, and process it later when we have nothing better to do.

This should make the implementation a bit more reliable, as the unit notify event
cannot immediately enqueue tons of side-effect jobs that might
contradict each other, but we do so only in a strictly ordered fashion,
from the main event loop.

This slightly changes the check when to consider a unit "unneeded".
Previously, we'd assume that a unit in "deactivating" state could also
be cleaned up. With this new logic we'll only consider units unneeded
that are fully up and have no job queued. This means that whenever
there's something pending for a unit we won't clean it up.