futher fix to the "orphan state" idea. to avoid setting tons of

futher fix to the "orphan state" idea.  to avoid setting tons of
"hasparent" flags on objects as they are loaded, both from lazy and eager loads,
the "orphan" check now uses an "optimistic" flag to determine the result if no
"hasparent" flag is found for a particular relationship on an instance. if the
instance has an _instance_key and therefore was loaded from the database, it is
assumed to not be an orphan unless a "False" hasparent flag has been set.  if the
instance does not have an _instance_key and is therefore transient/pending, it is
assumed to be an orphan unless a "True" hasparent flag has been set.