gh-144054: no deferred refcount for untracked (gh-144081)

gh-144054: no deferred refcount for untracked (gh-144081)

This reverts gh-144055 and fixes the bug in a different way.  Deferred
reference counting relies on the object being tracked by the GC,
otherwise the object will live until interpreter shutdown.  So, take
care that we do not enable deferred reference counting for objects that
are untracked.  Also, if a tuple has deferred reference counting
enabled, don't untrack it.