tree-wide: add helper for IPv4/IPv6 sockopts

tree-wide: add helper for IPv4/IPv6 sockopts

A variety of sockopts exist both for IPv4 and IPv6 but require a
different pair of sockopt level/option number. Let's add helpers for
these that internally determine the right sockopt to call.

This should shorten code that generically wants to support both ipv4 +
ipv6 and for the first time adds correct support for some cases where we
only called the ipv4 versions, and not the ipv6 options.