refs: create and use `ref_update_expects_existing_old_ref()`

refs: create and use `ref_update_expects_existing_old_ref()`

The files and reftable backend, need to check if a ref must exist, so
that the required validation can be done. A ref must exist only when the
`old_oid` value of the update has been explicitly set and it is not the
`null_oid` value.

Since we also support symrefs now, we need to ensure that even when
`old_target` is set a ref must exist. While this was missed when we
added symref support in transactions, there are no active users of this
path. As we introduce the 'symref-verify' command in the upcoming
commits, it is important to fix this.

So let's export this to a function called
`ref_update_expects_existing_old_ref()` and expose it internally via
'refs-internal.h'.

Helped-by: Patrick Steinhardt <ps@pks.im>
Signed-off-by: Karthik Nayak <karthik.188@gmail.com>
Signed-off-by: Junio C Hamano <gitster@pobox.com>