bcachefs: Improve stripe triggers/heap code

bcachefs: Improve stripe triggers/heap code

Soon we'll be able to modify existing stripes - replacing empty blocks
with new blocks and new p/q blocks. This patch updates the trigger code
to handle pointers changing in an existing stripe; also, it
significantly improves how the stripes heap works, which means we can
get rid of the stripe creation/deletion lock.

Signed-off-by: Kent Overstreet <kent.overstreet@gmail.com>
Signed-off-by: Kent Overstreet <kent.overstreet@linux.dev>