threaded-resolver: fix shutdown

threaded-resolver: fix shutdown

Changed strategy to start up and terminate resolver thread.

When starting up:

Start the thread with mutex acquired, wait for signal from thread that
it started and has incremented the ref counter. Thread set
pthread_cancel() to disabled before that and only enables cancelling
during resolving itself. This assure that the ref counter is correct and
the unlinking of the resolve context always happens.

When shutting down resolving:

If ref counting shows thread has finished, join it, free everything. If
thread has not finished, try pthread_cancel() (non Windows), but keep
the thread handle around.

When destroying resolving:

Shutdown first, then, if the thread is still there and 'quick_exit' is
not set, join it and free everything. This might occur a delay if
getaddrinfo() hangs and cannot be interrupted by pthread_cancel().

Destroying resolving happens when another resolve is started on an
easy handle or when the easy handle is closed.

Add test795 to check that connect timeout triggers correctly
when resolving is delayed. Add debug env var `CURL_DNS_DELAY_MS`
to simulate delays in resolving.

Fix test1557 to set `quick_exit` and use `xxx.invalid` as domain
instead of `nothing` that was leading to hangers in CI.

Closes #18263