core: increment start limit counter only when we can start the unit

core: increment start limit counter only when we can start the unit

Otherwise, e.g. requesting to start a unit that is under stopping may
enter the failed state.

This makes
- rename .can_start() -> .test_startable(), and make it allow to return
  boolean and refuse to start units when it returns false,
- refuse earlier to start units that are in the deactivating state, so
  several redundant conditions in .start() can be dropped,
- move checks for unit states mapped to UNIT_ACTIVATING from .start() to
  .test_startable().

Fixes #39247.