[9.18] chg: usr: Fix CPU spikes and slow queries when cache approaches memory limit

[9.18] chg: usr: Fix CPU spikes and slow queries when cache approaches memory limit

When the cache grew close to the configured max-cache-size, every subsequent
entry triggered all worker threads to run cache cleanup at once, causing CPU
spikes and a drop in query throughput. Cleanup is now spread probabilistically
across inserts as memory approaches the limit, so the work is distributed evenly
instead of piling up at the threshold.

Backport of MR !1002

Merge branch '5891-improve-overmem-cleaning-9.18' into 'security-bind-9.18'

See merge request isc-private/bind9!1008